a red so deep

floating above it:

fantasy of flight,

swinging through the skyline

of your mind and swimming

deep, buried, in the caverns of

your soul; or at least,

at the very least,

diving head first into your eyes.

pools of ever-changing sighs,

murky with foreign scents.

the phantom of color,

a red so deep and bloody,

faded, beauty via cellulose and waves:

still reaches out and grasps my throat

so hard i can’t help but breathe you in,

across the valley of youth and

not-so-gentle truths,

until the imprint of your words,

sharp like the knife that’s twisting

in my gut, takes over:

losing control,

will you take us over the edge?

this is the ether of forbidden genesis,

what sorrow i wrought,

and to what end: real lies,

fake friends, earnest, heartfelt, passionate - apathy.

so the mask and the wall

and the ever-present other,

all conspire with joy, to encroach

upon my sanity, leaving any trace of

who i was before

lying on the side of the dirt road,

muddied by your damage,

weathered through my onslaught,

and to top it all off:

just as swiftly as you came,

you are already always departing.

tempt me with rhythm,

ensnare me with your sultry voice:

me, but a servant to beauty,

and wisdom and all the things

that live inside us and outside me,

a man can scarcely envision

all the pain we have yet to offer.

all the screams unsung,

all the moans and tears,

every single synapse firing for

one fleeting glimpse of the otherside:

a girl fades into me, but,

whatever you do, girl,

don’t look down.

keep strumming on my heartstrings,

teasing my flesh with your breath,

here with me like a revenant,

brought back from the precipice,

only to descend, nonetheless,

into an abyss all our own:

let us writhe down there

just for a century or two,

and then resurge, uplift,

and burn away everything that is,

all the woes that were,

incinerate the future where we,

forlorn strangers,

never stumble into each other,

never fall face first into
this beautiful agony.

thot experiment

restless ego,
chase away the image
of the one that was promised;
replace it with the one who was found
but only when she was lost.

metal grinds inside your heart:
can you even contemplate
the chasm of confusion
and conspiracy you've created?

she writhes apart from me,
while this drips down my chest,
and out my fingertips,
sticky and malicious,
envious, heaven-sent deliverance:
do i deserve this?

behind a mask of liquor and
intimacy: are you anything
but a part of me? twisted,
beautiful, destroy us and,
just like a dark moonrise,
light up our nights.

stir crazy, for the heart wants
what it can't have
and the mind craves
what it can get:
pragmatic romantic,
this is an exercise in mismanaged expectations.

the time for reaching so high
above your head that your arms
grew weary and, just before you gave up,
i fell directly into them,
your web, my cradle.

this is it. it is what it is.
sobriety is a phase and happiness
is forever, if at all.
choose this, this final age of man:
catch a buzz, cyborg lover,
take my hand and come with me forever.