on my female fixation

it's one thing to like women and to be attracted to them. but i remain absolutely clueless as to why i need certain women to be in love with me. romantic prospects are lost and gained every day; why does my world collapse when i find that one of them isn't going to work? it might be an unhealthy state of mind in which the girl who catches my eye is automatically the solution to my problems. i think most of it stems from inexperience. since i've never really had one of THOSE girls that i pine for love me back, i don't realize, subconsciously, that they're love won't solve everything. i can't get past the primal problem of sex as an escape and realize that i have plenty of growing to do as a person.

first step: recognizing the problem. check.
second step: fixing it. in progress.

on girl number two

the girl shakes violently on the floor. not in convulsions, but in glorious contortions of pulsating rhythm. she rules over the dance floor just as she unknowingly reigns over my heart. i wish i knew what sweet nothings to enunciate in her tender ears in order to make her mine completely. as it is, i share her, unwillingly, with them and their ravenous eyes, them with their jester tongues, loaded with quips and laughter and totally devoid of the devotion that holds my longing eyes and waiting tongue in check. goddess, i am your devoted follower. when will you give me the exquisite release i long for?

on time

what is time? who created the second? why do we measure how emotionally mature we are by the amount of times the chunk of rock we live on has circled a ball of fire?

on girl number one

listening to the rhythms of your skin and tasting the elegance of your smile;
all i long to do is swim in the icy and unfathomable depths of your blue eyes;
it is no concern of mine whether i should perish from any number of plagues;
so long as your tears on my face are the last things i feel;
and your wine-tinged breath the last thing i smell;

i think to myself: is it logical, rational, normal...is it right?
to think about your smiling countenance and your soft-spoken words;
so many times in one day, or am i consumed by otherworldly forces;
that drive me to long for that which lies out of reach?

assail me with awkward hellos;
overwhelm me with half-hearted laughs;
seduce me with a smile...in return for one of my cigarettes;
don't look at me;

see me.